As Red As Blood, As White As Snow
by KimoriShadows
Summary: They wouldn’t leave him, stuck to his mind like a bloody stain on cream satin. Russia has some bad dreams. Some blood in this fic, one chapter about no particular historical event.


A/N: Hi everybody! This fic is not based on any historical events, as I am only working on what I have gathered from hear-say, so make of it what you will! There's a bit of blood in this, so please tell me if I have rated it incorrectly! The characters mentione din this fanfiction are not meant to represent the countries or their armed forces in any way. Hetalia- Axis Powers is not mine, because I can't draw for toffee. Not that I like toffee...

Hope you enjoy!

* * *

"Russia? Russia!"

Despite Lithuania's desperate voice, they were still there.

They wouldn't leave him alone.

Across his pale face splattered the still hot blood. The heartbeats of thousands echoed in his fractured mind. The snow lay out before him, dyed crimson by the blood of the people.

His people.

They had been relying on him. Trusted him. And he had let them all down.

He tried to scream, the harsh air ripping from his throat but making no sound. He gripped his head tightly, wishing he could reach into his skull and wrench out any traces of his memories. They wouldn't leave him, stuck to his mind like a bloody stain on cream satin.

Latvia's cold eyes filled with tears as he lay still in the snow, dying spasms shaking his body, uniform in tatters and pale skin ripped and torn. Further from him, Estonia lay, face down in the snow, his glasses shattered, his still-warm blood making the snow hiss and vaporise. Barely visible through the snowstorm, Lithuania took his last few faltering steps, swaying dangerously. His legs gave way and he fell sideways, flopping like a rag doll, his wounds no more than fraying seams. A grip on his trouser leg- Natalia lay beside him, her beautiful hair matted by blood and spread about her angelic face like a halo. The screams of Ukraine ripped though his head- so far away, he couldn't reach her, couldn't reach her!

He was still standing, not one scratch on his body. He hadn't been able to stop them…

A blonde figure emerged from the snow, glasses glinting in the half-light that caught the barrel of his gun. His finger was on the trigger as he raised it, ready to shoot, once sky blue eyes now turned as cold and hard as the ice that filled the Russian's blood-spattered house.

"You brought this upon yourself…" Alfred growled, squeezing the trigger.

* * *

"IVAN!"

His lilac eyes shot open to see Lithuania's horrified face, feel his hands gripping his wrists tightly.

"Lithuania…Lithuania!" Russia examined the smaller nation's face closely. Not a trace of a scratch lay across it. He freed his wrists easily and pulled the Baltic into a bone-crushing hug.

"R…Russia?" Lithuania was startled, but hugged him back nonetheless, pulled onto the bed by the larger nation. To his surprise, Ivan began to shake.

"Li… Toris… I thought… I thought that you were dead!"

"You were screaming…" Toris mumbled into the Russian's thick pyjamas. "I'm okay."

Ivan pushed him up, keeping a tight grip on the Baltic's arms. "Are your brothers? Belarus? Ukraine… Oh God, is Ukraine all right?"

Lithuania nodded dumbly. "All in bed- I had just got up to check the house when I heard you screaming our names…" Toris looked to his feet, placing a timid hand on Russia's shoulder. "You were trying to kill yourself… and you kept screaming and screaming and I didn't know what to do…" His emerald orbs met the Russian's amethyst ones, with concern. "You were drinking and I didn't know how to help…"

Russia leaned up, putting his mouth right next to the Baltic's ear.

"Just make a promise to me… you will be one with me… forever…"

Lithuania shuddered a little, the foul stench of old vodka riddling the larger nation's breath.

"We won't forget you, we promise…" Toris froze as the grip on his arms tightened. "We won't leave you again… Even if we're not one with you, we won't abandon you like we did before. We won't let you feel alone or sad or cold any longer… We promise."

Russia's eyes widened and he slowly lost his grip on the Baltic brother, wrapping his own arms around himself. There was a hole through the middle of his chest, and he pulled himself tighter in the hope that it would keep him from falling apart. It was all his fault. Everything. That nightmare still rang in his head, and he knew sooner or later someone or something would have to pay the price for his loneliness. One final question.

"You promise?"

"Yes." Toris replied without missing a beat. "It's much better if people love you because they can, not because they must."

"…Then go."

"What?"

"Go, Toris. Take your brothers and Ukraine and Belarus and go back to your own houses… you're free…"

Toris was frozen to the cold, cold spot for a second. Had he just… Had Russia just freed them?

"Russia?"

"GO!" the purple-eyed nation roared, unable to look as Toris sprinted out of the bedroom door. "Before I change my mind…"

* * *

That had been a long time ago. Now, looking across the table to where Toris was sat, trying to concentrate on yet another one of Alfred's ludicrous proposals, Russia couldn't help but wonder- did he remember that promise they had made so long ago? The way he looked at Poland as the blonde nation's hand entwined itself with that of the Baltic, would anyone ever look at him that way? With such fondness, such gladness, such…

…such love.

Russia turned his attention back to the papers in front of him. Of course they wouldn't. Nobody apart from England, France and America when they were being belligerent even called him by his actual name. Lithuania hadn't since that night, and neither had his brothers. A familiar feeling of cold isolation washed over Russia and he buried his mouth a little into his scarf, hands gripping at his torso below the desk as if in some vain attempt to hold himself together.

Just once, he wanted someone to look at him like that. To say his name with happiness, joy, instead of fear or anger. Just once. Only once. Then he'd be happy.

Then the nightmares would stop.

…Wouldn't they?

* * *

Poor Ivan...

Reviews make him feel loved! Thanks for reading!


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